the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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