If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
