This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
