i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
