Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
