I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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