i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
