I am puke
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Small penises have feelings too.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
