glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
