And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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