he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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