I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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