I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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