your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
