ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
