Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
