how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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