well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
