sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
