I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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