i just google imaged poop.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
