Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
