Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
