Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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