biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
