His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
