At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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