I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
