real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
