He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
