Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
