This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
