when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
