what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
