i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
