The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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