did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
