He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
