I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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