Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
