is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
