it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
this just has baby written all over it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
