is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
