you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
