Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
