They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
