Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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