Those balls look pretty dangerous.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
