I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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