Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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